What We Don't Realize
by Gammaent
Summary: After Trip comes back from Vulcan, he still has some business to take care of regarding Crewman Taylor and Mrs. Taylor realizes something’s amiss.


What We Don't Realize 

Disclaimer: Star Trek and everything affiliated with belongs to Paramount

A/N: "The Forgotten" was one of my favorite episodes and inspired me to write this. Thanks to everybody for your feedback and comments, I appreciate all of them.

* * *

Sitting down with a cup full of coffee cradled in her hands, Mary Taylor looked down upon the padd that she read every morning as part of her ritual. It was the last letter she had received from that hell her daughter had been sent to, never to return. It had been a while since _Enterprise_'s return and though she mourned every minute the loss of her daughter, she couldn't help but be proud of her too. James, her husband, needed more time alone and every morning she awoke to find him already gone, no doubt to take a jog and deal with his feelings.

Taking a sip, her eyes glanced over the words on the padd, not really needing to as she had every word memorized.

_Hey Mom and Pop, _

_Hope everything's going well. You guys better be taking good care of Spunky, and Pop, don't even give me the excuse she's just a fish. I better come home and find the same Spunky, none of that switching business. Things are as going as well as anybody could expect. The crew's been down a bit lately but not in Engineering. Chief's got a way of keeping us entertained, more often than not as his own expense. We've got a pool running- a small group of us think he's got the hots for our first officer, Sub-Commander T'Pol. I'm planning on winning big on this one. Most people are going for that fact that one of them is going to kill the other, but really Mom, you should see them argue! Just like you and Pop. I swear, one day…as long as I get my share of the pool. Poor Anna, she's going to eat her words when she realizes I was right. Other than that there's not much happening. Wish I was with you guys. I'll write more soon, my shift starts in a few minutes. Take care and love you both, _

_Jane_

Mary couldn't help the small, sorrow-filled chuckle that escaped her every time she read the letter. It reminded her of Jane's love, curiosity, passion, and mischievous pranks. And what an imagination! _Her Chief and the Vulcan Science Officer, seriously, Jane, you were always the romantic_. _And to think you had a crush on him when you began serving under him._ As she glanced around her room, her eye's settled onto the container where Spunky had been moping for the past few days as if realizing her friend wasn't coming back. Looking back down at the padd, she remembered when she first heard the recording Commander Tucker had sent and the honest, pain-filled words echoed in her memory once again.

_"Mr. and Mrs. Taylor, by the time you get this, Starfleet will have already told you about Jane. Since I worked so closely with her, I wanted to add my personal condolences. I have to confess I've been putting off writing this for a while. I convinced myself that my duties on Enterprise took precedence. But the truth is, I didn't want to face the fact that someone so young and with so much promise could just be gone."_

A tear escaped her burning eyes, realizing how true his words were. She didn't want to face the fact that her daughter was gone. Jane had to be out there. Somewhere. But Mary had to block out those words, playing over and over again, and out of instinct, turned the TV on to drone out her thoughts.

* * *

Trip, wearing simple slacks, a shirt and a jacket, walked with his hands in his pockets up the gravel path leading to the white two-story house. It was a mild day, the sky gray and cloudy with a steady breeze ruffling through the trees and grass. Pulling the jacket closer to his body, he knew the he would never be warm again. Not after his trip to Vulcan. Not after he'd lost everything that was worth living for. Watching T'Pol get married had been the most painful thing he'd ever done, not just emotionally, but physically too. It had felt as if some unknown force was ripping his mind and an invisible enemy was crushing his chest. But worse was the feeling of failure that had pervaded him. As a sharp gust blew past him, his hand went to his cheek that stung from the light kiss T'Pol had given him. It would continue to burn, reminding him of who he had failed, all the people he had failed, and how he was the only one responsible.

He shook his head, trying to clear those thoughts. That wasn't why he was here right now. He was here to fulfill his promise. The promise he had made never to forget.

His feet having carried him without any thought, he was startled to find himself in front of the door. One hand grasping the small black velvet box in his pocket, the other reached out and pressed the doorbell.

* * *

Hearing the doorbell, Mary jumped out of her thoughts and went to the door, wondering who it could be at this hour of the morning. As the door slid away, she was greeted with the sight of Commander Tucker who she recognized from the media coverage and the more than detailed descriptions Jane had sent her. As he raised his head and his eyes locked with hers, she couldn't help but notice the contrast between his aged, experienced eyes and his innocent boyish features.

"Mrs. Taylor? I'm Trip Tucker, Jane's boss. I was wonderin' if I could come in?"

"Of course, Commander, come in, would you like anything?"

"Please, call me Trip ma'am, and no I'm fine," he said with a soft smile, taking a seat across from Mary in the central living room as she muted the TV.

"Trip, I wanted to thank you for your letter. Jane would have appreciated it. She always thought highly of you."

With a sad smile he said, "It's the least I could do. It's about Jane that I'm actually here," withdrawing the box from his pocket, "I wanted to give this in person because if it wasn't for Jane, none of us from _Enterprise_ would be here today." Clearing this throat he began, "I'd like to present Crewman Jane Taylor, engineer aboard the Starfleet vessel _Enterprise_, with the Starfleet Medal of Honor for valor and bravery above and beyond the call of duty." And in a softer, more personal voice, he added, "It was an honor to serve with your daughter Mrs. Taylor," handing her the box containing Jane's medal.

Not even attempting to stop her tears, Mary accepted the box and before she could help herself, she whispered, "I can't believe she's gone." She lifted her eyes to notice that Trip's gaze had settled on the TV monitor where there was a picture of Sub-Commander T'Pol and the media frenzy of Starfleet's offer of a commission to a Vulcan.

With a sigh, as if realizing for the very first time he said, "Sometimes we don't realize what we have until we lose it." Once again, his eyes startled her, the depth of pain and understanding, maturity and wisdom that she saw there. And then she remembered the words of her daughter in the letter. _Jane, perhaps you did win that pool after all._ She controlled the urge to ask the question that popped in her head, albeit in Jane's voice, "Do you love her?" knowing it wasn't her place to ask.

Getting up, Trip said sincerely, "I better be going Mrs. Taylor. It was an honor meeting you. I'm sorry for your loss but I'm proud to be able to call Jane my friend."

As Trip was about to step outside into the cold, he stopped at the feel of a hand grasping his arm. Turning around, he saw comfort and acceptance in Mrs. Taylor's eyes. "Trip, it was nice meeting you. Any of Jane's friends are welcome here anytime. Take care," she said, both understanding the meaning behind her words. Though she didn't understand the reason behind Trip's pain, she had only to look once again into his eyes to be reminded of it and knew that Jane's insight had something to do with it. But it wasn't her place and all she could do was offer her support and silent prayers to the man who was her daughter's friend.

Placing his hand gently on hers, he parted with a simple, "Thank you Mrs. Taylor. I don't know if it means much, but to me Jane isn't gone. I'll always remember her."

As she closed the front door, something compelled her to go stand by the window where, leaning against the wall, she watched the retreating figure of Trip, head bent, walking solemnly towards the street. As she continued to watch, he paused, dug through his jacket, and pulled out a small picture frame. She couldn't see the picture from this distance but she did see him softly paw at the glass. She didn't have to know him to understand the love that echoed from that simple gesture. Looking up at the sky and blinking as if seeing for the first time, he let go of some of the tension that had wracked his frame. As she continued to look, he resumed his slow walk alone.

And then it hit her. She clutched the velvet box close to her heart as the realization swept over her. Feeling the wetness of tears on her cheeks, she took comfort in her realization, the realization that those who are loved are never truly gone. The ones that we care about are always with us and we with them no matter what may happen. With that thought the final few words of the Commander's recording floated into her conscience, and closing her eyes, she reveled in the knowledge that her daughter was still there in the hearts of those who remembered her.

"_But I'm facing it now and I find myself thinking how important she was to me. She was a great engineer and she was my friend. She won't be forgotten."_


End file.
